Sunday, January 31, 2010

red stream

this is what I came here for--

the tingle of
not knowing--

the creaking thrill
of an opening door

for this
I poured my soul
willingly
into a shell of skin

child
of mystery

look at me--
bare elbows, like wings with no feathers

legs that would make
a tiger laugh...

and see here, this trembling in my chest
that catches my breath

with each rustle
of black shadows

each sharp streak of light
in a stranger's eyes

and yes, I came here to stumble, to lose my footing
for the earth to yawn open
with my feet on the edge,
defying the moment

when the drum, this fierce sound inside me
beating, beating,
would stop

the red stream harden
and the last drops fly, frozen, into the night

do you envy me now--
gods
in your milk-white sky

that indescribable tingle
of not knowing

I have it

12 Comments:

Blogger Lorraine said...

I have it, and it hurts...and I don't know what to do
people are too close even hidden I feel them around me, too much

Monday, February 1, 2010 at 11:28:00 AM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

Lorraine--What I am trying to express here is that yes, it hurts, but the more alive we are, the more we feel, and it is a very normal thing...what we are made for.

But if you feel the negativity from other people too much, there are ways to distance yourself from that, and it is vitally necessary to do, for your own health!

I know I've had to struggle with that, and still am, but it is do-able. People only impinge as much as you allow them to. We (females)are not taught that having our own personal space is an option--sometimes it helps to role-play to get out of the habit of letting people have too much impact on you.

Just say, "how would I react if I was a man?" And give yourself permission to be that way.

Monday, February 1, 2010 at 8:44:00 PM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

P.S. Lorraine--That is not to say that men can't be that sensitive--
just role-model the ones you know that aren't!

Monday, February 1, 2010 at 9:21:00 PM EST  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I was fine until I wasn't, I felt like my skin was torn off and all my nerves exposed to humanity, I never fully recovered, but I love humanity...always will

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 7:52:00 AM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

Lorraine--humanity is a bitch, isn't it?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 12:23:00 AM EST  
Blogger Lorraine said...

LOL, well put my dear lol

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 12:01:00 PM EST  
Blogger Devika said...

too profound layers in the poem, my bird....very nice :)

And then I read the comments, Interesting....

Having it in us, and being aware of it -- i think its a way to overcome the pain, no? -- that was my route....and i'm quite fine, i guess,


wishes,
devika

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 11:08:00 PM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

Lorraine--thanks!

Devika--Your comment gets to the heart of what I was writing about--seems like you are there before me, and it's not the first time!
Hope you are well, and happy--

Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 10:02:00 PM EST  
Blogger Devika said...

Thank you my bird.....I was there, in full extent at my age 21-22....before that in bits and pieces, trying to make sense....between 21 and 24 -- was the hardest days of my life....after 24, i stopped the search and worries, saying 'I have it in me' :)

but then the world isn't an easy place -- not is it easy being good at all times -- i am not a saint, nor a sinner -- but have elements of both, so the journey goes on :)

wishes,
devika

Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 10:19:00 PM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

Devika--as long as you love the self you are and have become...that's all you need!

Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 4:29:00 PM EST  
Blogger Devika said...

Could be right, but never seen life as a chance to build self love :)

wishes,
devika

Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:37:00 PM EST  
Blogger firebird said...

Devika--the kind of self-love I am thinking of is like a mother's love for her child-- Not to think we are great or superior, just to love.

Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 1:14:00 AM EST  

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