some skies
some skies
open like a mouth
some stars
lean down and smile
some clouds
close in on the moon
some nights are flat black
some souls
scratch my heart
like train whistles
in the dark
open like a mouth
some stars
lean down and smile
some clouds
close in on the moon
some nights are flat black
some souls
scratch my heart
like train whistles
in the dark
posted by Yes at 1:10 AM
10 Comments:
I love this!! It's amazing how the far off train whistle can scratch a heart in the night.
"some souls
scratch my heart
like train whistles
in the dark"
This is good!
I really like this. It suggests to me the universe is alive in a very intimate kind of way. And, alternatively, suggests that the "I" is very intimately part of the universe. And, it makes a kind of "gestural drawing" (do you know that term?) of a familiar emotion. I also responded particularly to the portion Gautami quotes.
pat--Thanks, I bet you have train whistles near where you live--?
At least I imagine you do...
gautami--I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the comment...
mb--That IS how I see the universe, some days (nights) more than others...I'm not familiar with "gestural drawing" of emotions--sounds intriguing! I'd like to learn more about it...
i agree with guatami... those lines are spectacular. i could eat them with a spoon or maybe just roll around in them drooling (sorry... hahahahahha.... i'm just a little tilted tonight)!
ss--feel free to be as messy as you like--enjoy! Now that I think about it, I don't have to clean up after my virtual guests...so go wild!!
There's a lot going on with sound in this one, as well as imagry, that I like.
are you submitting your poems to small presses firebird?
please do.
you'll rack up some rejection letters and post cards, but you will get published and your work should be out there in the printed text world.
i forgot to say....
when i was pregnant with my son, i lived a block from the train tracks. the apartment would shake when the freight trains ran through at night, but the sound was comforting to me, as was the whistle.
made me dream of journeys, unknown landscapes.
now there is a soul out there in the world that is a train whistle to me - a faraway train whistle, barely audible now...and moving purposely away in the dark.
Paul--Thanks for noticing the sounds in the poem--I was kind of unconscious about them--I'm so glad you mentioned it!
Bird--I appreciate the encouragement to publish--I am working on it slowly, not exactly sure how, but any suggestions are welcome!
Thanks for sharing your 'prose poem' about the train tracks--
I'm not sure if your son is the train whistle you mention--the image certainly fits, if it is!
(I have a teenage son, it will happen to me...)
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