first rays
you, the tallest tree
lifting me to the sun's kiss
morning's first smile
tenderly I sweep
old tangled blooms from your crown
revealing green shoots
lifting me to the sun's kiss
morning's first smile
tenderly I sweep
old tangled blooms from your crown
revealing green shoots
posted by Yes at 11:45 AM
7 Comments:
I gave the "pulchritude" poem a diet and workout--this is what remained.
The inspiration for both poems was "Akeelah and the Bee", which is a movie you absolutely MUST see!
If you have any preference one way or the other on either poem, let me know--feedback makes me HAPPY!
The themes of the two poems are definitely very similar but the execution is so different! I'm still processing both. Expect more comments to come.
Also, glad you like Akeelah!
Hey, Firebird! I'm so glad to see you doing this on your own. Sorry it took me so long to wend my way over here.
Nice stuff! Keep it up.
Thanks, Sara! Hope you are recharging from the holiday black energy hole--I fell into it too)
First Rays is definitely my favorite of the two. There are some well drawn metaphors in Pulchritude, but the simplicity and balance of First Rays really does it for me.
But I am curious. Pulchritude seems to be about God. But the second stanza of First Rays makes the poem seem as though it could be about the love between two people. I was wondering what your intentions were, if you don't mind sharing.
Just reading it, I think that is a really interesting to think of human beings as sweeping away old tangled blooms from God's crown to reveal new green shoots, or participating in a process of co-creation.
Wow. That's deep.
What I had in mind in both poems was the relationship between Akeelah and her mentor--certainly "co-creation" would describe this.
And love. God does that too.
I like your idea of reading it either way.
I used "pulchritude" as the title because of how it was an insight in the movie. (into believing we are all beautiful) It's probably a bad title for someone who hasn't seen it.
Reading "first rays" as a poem about the relationship between Akeelah and Dr. Larabee, I like it even more than I already did!
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